Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
