as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize