Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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