As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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