Non-Jews are for practice
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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