I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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