we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
