Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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