Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
