Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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