of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
