"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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