yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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