i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
