i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
