I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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