I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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