I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
