i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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