Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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