Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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