It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
