Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
