hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize