dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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