6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
