For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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