Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
