i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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