For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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