I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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