I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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