mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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