I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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