I am spending my child support on dildos
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
