That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
