I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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