OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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