Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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