Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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