Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
