The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
