Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
