I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
do nipples grow back?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize