Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
