Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
