Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
