I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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