You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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