I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
