you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
