Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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