Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
