Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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