break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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