You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
