Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You were trust falling into bushes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
