We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
