Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
