I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
