So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
