I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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