doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
