You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
