trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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