I'm gonna have a badass scar
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
