she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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