remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
