READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
